...a step at a time

Today marks another milestone in my journey. Nothing special like graduation or moving to a new grade or passing a major test. Today I got inspired by a few things I've observed around me. As I type this, game 7 of the NBA championship between the Spurs and the Heat is yet to be played. I watched most of game 6 and it was very close. The spurs were very impressive and appeared seasoned (some people call it "old"). The heat on the other hand, is full on talent... however, mostly bought talent. I was very impressed to learn Tim, Manu and Tony have been together for almost 16 years with Popovich as the head coach. That is a championship team that was built-up. It took steps to recruit and patience to reach that level. Even though the popular thing is to root for a big name team like Miami, I feel that San Antonio deserves this one. Looking forward to tonight's game!
Related to the basketball finals, is a short clip from an interview with Russell Crowe about his latest movie "man of steel". Apparently Henry Cavill met Russell years ago while he was a teenager in high school. He candidly approached him for advice about acting and Russell's reply was interesting. It's a cliche phrase, but yet; so true... "a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step" ...today, Henry stars as superman alongside Russell in Man of Steel. Can't wait to see the movie this weekend!

Unit 2.0

The past 24 hours were one of the most trying moments in my career as a physician. Without delving into details, I saw life end right before my eyes. Don't get me wrong, I've seen a lot of death between med school human gross anatomy and my intern year in residency.
But there was something last night that hit me especially hard. Even though everyone on the team, ER doc, intern, nurses, attending, consultants did everything they could possibly do, I feel like I lost a fight. Even worse was breaking the news to the family. Never have I felt so bad...
Today, I mourn. Even though I did not know you personally, I lost a part of me when you left. You will truly be missed by your family.

Closing

In 3 days, I will be done with med school. I will no longer have the word student attached to my description even though I am a life long learner. Somehow, the word student has a naivety feel to it. Sort of offers some security from the real world.

It's been a journey alright. As I look back and reflect on my experiences I really cannot come to any conclusions. I must admit there were pretty low points and some highs as well. I made some close friends who I hope to keep in contact with through-out my career. I tried not to make any enemies, but like in any large group, there will be people whose personalities don't match-up. I feel pretty burnt-out not necessarily from the course work, but from the constant worrying of what the future entails. I chose not to worry (doc's advice).

I learnt a lot from my Parkland patients whom I will forever be grateful. I tried my best to be an advocate for the sick and poor. Some of my attendings were very inspirational, especially the older folks who still know what it means to be a physician. They could have chosen a lucrative career taking care of the "whose who" in dfw but they chose Parkland. They get the word: "And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done [it] unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done [it] unto me."

Med school was not a walk in the park. It required a lot of sacrifice from a lot of people. I don't feel like a hero who just survived 4 grueling years. Instead, I am truly humbled. Becoming a doctor isn't just about adding the initials MD to my name. It comes with great responsibility that I will bear to my grave. I pray the Lord to guide me through this new journey I'm about to embark.

Amen.

almost there... really?

In 4 days, ill be taking my last exam. Wow! Well i'm not really that excited. I've taken so many tests, gotten used to studying all the time and to be honest, its really an anti-climax. So, how was the past year?
Started off well with pediatrics. Lots of ear infections, URIs etc. New born nursery was fun. Then off to Neuro. Neuro Peds was really sad esp kids born with devastating neuro deficits... Stroke service was cool, esp reading MRIs. Always nailed the anatomy! Its all about localizing the lesion. Then off to family which was ok, except it was at the height of H1N1 and we hadn't gotten immunizations! Then surgery, which was truly an eye opener. Working 33 hours straight is possible but literally sucks the life out of you. My R3 seemed really depressed and I felt really sad for her. Took a much needed christmas break, then back for OB/Gyn. Started off with Gyn which was awesome. I actually got more OR time than I did during Surg. My last day on the team I got to do a myomectomy (literally yanking out fibroids). I realized I liked doing procedures. OB was ok. Deliveries can be really messy, but its still a miracle of life. Motherhood is a beautiful thing. Psych followed shortly with a stint at Presby. 3 weeks of consults followed by 3 weeks of eating disorder (ED). Ladies and gentlemen, ED is a true disease that can be devastating. Please don't brush it off and encourage people you know to seek help. Parkland psych ER was interesting! Nuff said.
Finally, internal medicine. First month at parklands, 2nd month at BUMC and now doing ambulatory rotations at various clinics. Medicine is very broad and requires a lot of intellect. The more you read, the more you know. I feel that I have a lot more to learn and wouldn't mind doing that for another 3 more years. An ideal program would be one that is not too busy such that one has time to read.
And so, the journey continues. As I wrap-up my year, I now must decide on my future... Reading through my past posts I hope to remember why I even went to med school in the first place...
I'll keep you posted.

a more perfect union

wow! its been 2 years! where did time fly by. just yesterday, i scheduled my 3rd year rotations and today i have to decide whether to defer my internal med sub-specialty to take an early elective... its really happening... joining the workforce is getting closer and closer... oh well, what can i say... i spent the last two years going to lectures and rotating between the library and carrels... ah! yes, the carrels... no windows, can't tell if its day or night, snowing or storming, there could be a freakin war going on and you wouldn't have a clue! still the best place to get stuff done... its been a ride studying with nicole, ahleli, michael, aaron, kirtan etc etc...
so, what have i learn't from 2 years of med school?

1. it is possible to study 12 hrs a day, 7 days a week without breaking a sweat and still get just a passing grade
2. its ok not to be the smartest guy in the room
3. flexibility... try new ways of doing things and don't fear change
4. seeking out help is not a sign of weakness, its the intelligent thing to do
5. everything will be ok
6. ... i should prolly get back to studying... still have 2 blocks left b4 officially becoming an MS3

i'll keep y'all updated on my adventures once i hit the wards,
cheers!

day 1

today was the first day in med school. had lunch with faculty and got some good advice. Nasser scared the crap out of me. so did richardson. so did the two MS 2s. whatever happened to encouragement. liked what richardson... or was it nasser said about people who find themselves in academic problems. "its really not a question of their ability to handle the material, it is often the result of making bad after bad decisions, many times out of the academic sphere"
otherwise, the group is stellar! we played b-ball at the gym after the days activities. it wasn't such a bad day. orientation continues tomorrow... specifically anatomy, biochem and embryo....
oh... almost forgot... i now have a badge with my name in CAPS right under MEDICAL STUDENT. my brother joked that my name was written in RED to warn patients that i am an immediate danger....lol!

its good to be in DC!

i finally graduated. it was an ok ceremony.... k... i'm kiddin.. it was really nice. the commencement speaker was on point, mentioned my name as an example of what determination can do (thanks red rose for using quotes from my essays :( ) and most important, my entire family was there.... i digress.
D.C... yes, i cannot wait to get a taste of the NE. my best pals from high school will be there (badach, otema and oruoch) and also joe from BS days. i'll get to see regina... men! its been 13 years since i last saw her.
i plan to visit the house, the national library of medicine, national museum of health and med, hopkins...yawn!... i know, the nerd in me needs loving too...
then of course, we shall get down and party like its 1999... do people still say that?
anyway, i'll have some more vibe laterz.